Feelings

Feelings! Nothing more than feelings. It crashes you down without even realizing why. We went out for a movie yesterday all happy and excited. One thing that bothers me most is that the guy who came out from her house when i waited her infront. Who is that guy and what does he intend to do to her? This feeling, is insane and most of all on that very second, i felt so saddened and angry. Jealousy it is! Deniz is farking jealous!! That rarely happens to me. I thought i said i don't want to burden her just because i like her. Didn't want her to be the joke of the day because i ain't a guy to complete her. What if i can't make her happy? What if i don't love her enough and make her cry everyday?Basically im very confuse and unsure about my feelings. AAaaaarrgghhhh!!!!IM SO FREAKING JEALOUS! =heugv 'ph[ju

The Ugly or the Pretty!!????

It is so funny when i thought about my mum's expression towards a boy gal relationship. That guy he wants me to be with is a very successful man indeed but of course his appearance is not what you think a manifique. I told her straight on her face that this guy is ugly!! She kept saying choosing a guy is not about the appearance. But what if your little girl here wants a girl n not a guy?A girl's age defies her appearance and this is actually my biggest problem. Am i choosing a beauty or a beast? In another words, your just a sucker under your mum's control if u just listen blindly. The beauty part is kinda tough road to ride on! This is just a once in a life time opportunity and you might be an old lonely lady then. So what should it be? Choosing a safe road or a road that everyone avoids? Well, currently, i love girls too much to let them go. I am still hungry for them..haha

moody

Its a very bad day today. My mood was just very much distracted by tonnes of things to do and i am so stressed out. Yes, i am beginning to like sm1 more and more everyday. Without her voice for a day makes so much difference in my daily basis. Am i too tired and take things too seriously in my life? Why am i like that? Everything doesn't seems so serious back then. My assignments my reports and all aughh!!! What am i struggling at? Why isit am i so not myself today? Where is the calm and tentative Deniz? Well, things were better after i talked to ehem just now. Problems keep on turning up at a bad timing and also makes me fed up at putting up with peoples attitude. They have something bad so do i! WTH, am i not human now? Just hope that one day i can share everything with someone who really understands me. ehem understands but i still cant get her! That's my main problem, i cant tell her how much i really felt and all! My heart is telling me 2 tell her straight in her face there and then. I did not do much. I want to, very much as long as it means making her less stress and less tiring. I am willing to be the tired one! ...I will make sure i grad with a distinction. My heart tells me 'she is the one', 2 months ago. But now, my heart tells me, i cant lose her and i will take care of her for the rest of my life! Even if it means just as being a friend beside her. I wanted to tell u, If it makes you happy for me not telling you how important and how much i love you, then i will not tell u.

oh tonight im feeling fine,
im alone just wasting time,
no fridays movie nights ,
or romantic candle lights,
im just having a conversation,
with a thoughts in my head,
all i hear are angels crying,
wont they just sing instead,
it would b wrong for me to say?
i dun need that gal by my side,
i dunit that gal in my life,
i duwana talk it out or hold her when she cries,
i duwana say she's my kind,
i duwana say that she's mine,
i duwana tel her that i love her more than life.....

Do You Know??

Do you know,your eyes gives me a struck everytime we looked?!
Do you know,when you touch me or hold me just once, i wanted so badly for the time to pause?!Everytime when you said that you were bored, i like to show up immediately infront of you?!I can't say i love you nor can i say how much i care for you. No one can tell that i had feelings for you for quite some time because i can't! Many will think of me as a play girl for not sticking to one. It's a mistake for me to confess hastily without thinking of the consequences. I am pausing my feelings towards you as well as all my actions towards anyone but it's obvious that this matter will not be paused for long. I need to play the video anyhow. i would not want to lose anyone of you,n now i choose to let things be as they are. Let bygones be bygones and fate will find its way. Its a good way to let me know how much i care for you and how much am i willing to put in just to put a smile on your face. Puppy love or solid love?And when i find out what this feelings meant,i'd really like to know if you are willing to share ur life together with me? Because my answer is always a yes to be a part of urs.